My Past Tense

“I am what I am now. Every scars on my skin has its story. Every scratch has its meaning and everything in me is important cause it defines me as a person, all my experiences, decisions and thoughts make me the person that I am now”

Everything I knew was a product of my past adventure, my past wanders and my past explorations but what are those? What are those things that I’d learned that molded me to become the man I am now? Let me give you a glimpse of who really I am and some of the happenings in my life a couple of years ago.

It was a sunny day. I looked at the clock and it was already 10:00 in the morning. I looked around. I saw no one on the bed with me. I stand up and walked towards the window. I saw a lot of busy persons. Some of them were wearing uniforms. Some were eating. There were also lots of children on the street which made it even din. They were playing and running with their parents watching them on the other side of the street. I was stuck with the scene. It just made me wish that I was there with my MOM and DAD playing happily with nothing to be worried of. Though I was still a kid by then the ambiance of the place where I was standing to was bothering me but I still manage to looked at the kids on the street until a kid with both his parents on his side caught my attention. Everything that happened to me on the past few days of my life had flashback.

It was a rainy morning. Everything was set. Everything was fine except for the weather. Dad was preparing for his work and mom had just finished preparing our breakfast so she called us to eat. As I go to school mom was with me. We walked in the rain with a small umbrella until we reached the ‘SIKAD’ terminal. From then we rode in a sikad until we’ve reached the school. I am sad and I don’t know why.  I shouldn’t be for it was our culmination for the MR. and MS. KID Valentines and I was one of the contestants. On the other hand, while on the school’s stairs my mom’s phone rang. My heart was rumbling cause it felt like something bad was happening. After she made the conversation, she immediately dragged me to my classroom and left me. I still remember how she was after that conversation on the phone. Her eyes were immediately filled with tears which she kept on holding on to not to cry in front of me. I want to know the story behind that look of her but mom already left me with this big question of what really happen.

Right now, I am on my way to our old house to light up a candle for my dad. It is too hard to accept everything. I know it is too early for him to have left us, to left me, but for sure I know dad has something to say about this matter. I know he will be saying if ever he’s still around that we must be strong, that we must not only depend for everything is unpredictable and will definitely end! Stop!.

Now, I am making my own journey, though sometimes it’s very dramatic like I am thinking to submit an entry to MMK ( Dear Charo;)) and though it can’t and definitely it won’t be sweet as fairytales does but at least I’m making it’s chapters even better by reviewing my last page mistakes and correcting my last chapter’s droughtiness by making everyone around me happy and by accepting challenges and failures but of course the most important. Celebrating VICTORIES in the name of GOD cause just like what I’ve said earlier, I am what I am and everything in me was full of untold stories. ( God knows everything about it ask Him for more details) 🙂

Godbless to all of us.


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